Japanese Have More Than One Thing Going For Them: Japan Diary #4

Onsen is a term used to describe hot springs in the Japanese language, though the term is also used to describe the bathing facilities most of the Japanese enjoy for relaxing and I've come to love. From what I can understand through very little research and merely on word of mouth and experience is that they come in two variations; outdoor and indoor. Outdoor can either be a man-made hot bath or a natural hot spring which is caused by the volcanic activity underneath creating a steamy, soothing bath-like water above ground. Whether its natural or not, got to say that these things are rad.

After the festival (which I discussed in detail in my last post) we went to bed with aching, bruised bodies. Cure? Taking a leisurely dip in the local onsen spa the next day. The place was a hotel/spa about 10mins away from where Justin lives. It contained two sauna's, 7 different baths, including one outdoor salt water looking out onto the ocean and two sauna rooms (one dry, one hot). Best part about it all? You got to see a bunch of naked Japanese dudes walking around waving around their dicks...wait, that wasn't the best part. Uh oh, I screwed that up. I'm straight I swear. I love boobs and vagina and a tight FEMALE ass in a good pair of jeans. Love vagina. Anyway, now that I've convinced you over the internet that I, the Blob, am a completely hetrosexual male I can say yes, there were naked men struting around with only a small wash cloth to cover up if, and only if they wanted. Some just loved that breeze and let it all bare out. But why not let it all hang out!

For instance, girls you would see this at an onsen:

and guys wish they would see that, but instead would see a lot of this

ANNNND THIS

Onsen's have some pretty strict policies that everyone, espeically foreigners need to abide by that include nudity. Some basic rules/general ettiquette to follow:

(1) You can NOT wear a bathing suit or any sort of garmet to cover up. You are given a wash cloth and that's it. You get a full towel, but you only use it once your out of the bath house to dry off. There are some modern parks that allow you to wear a bathing suit or something, but jesus, come on! let your dick (or vag hang out) because who the hell wants to go to some fake onsen wear your not naked, it ruins the point of them. Rock out with your cock out or jam out with your clam out!

(2) The wash cloth can not be placed in the water. It has to be set on top of your head or alongside the baths. It is considered rude and unhygenic to have your own personal towel in the public waters.

(3) Ensuring cleanliness is extremely important. Every person using the onsen is expected to wash themselves thoroughly before you enter the baths. Washing involves soap, shampoo and lots of rinsing off to make sure no soap gets into the baths. Some (including myself) spent like 10mins washing/rinsing. You are also expected to sit down for this, not stand. Since this is the case, the onsens normally provide removable shower heads to help the process. If you enter a bath dirty or with noticable soap on you is a major faux pas. This also goes for entering a salt water bath and not rinsing afterwards. You will probably get your ass kicked by some 70 year old Japanese dude. He'll be naked and wanting to spank you.

(4) Creating noise is not seen to be a polite thing to do so there isn't much yelling or loud talking going on. Plus you're there to relax not play or talk. No playfighting with water or blowing bubbles. The Babe may have a problem with this, she loves splishing and splashing in the water pretending she's some sort of mermaid. Its weird, espeically when she tells you to come into the bathroom and watch her change from mermaind to girl like Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

(5) Finally, tattoos are a pretty big no-no. Normally seen as a sign of organized crime (since most Yakuza have large tattoos displayed on their backs and torsos) its not a scene most onsen operators want to be a part of. However, rules are often broken since its not really in the interest employees to kick out someone involved in the Yakuza. I for one, would not want to kick out the older guy we saw with his back covered and his large gut displaying a massive dragon over his personal life. Yak's gotta soak too man.

So basically, once you get there, you are given a locker or a small basket to place your belongings in. Even if you get a basket, you don't have to worry about your things being stolen because theft is virtually unheard of in Japan. You could leave $200 hanging out of your pants pocket and no one would touch it. Its unreal. Anyway, yeah you get yourself naked leave your possessions and towel behind and walk into the wash area. Wash up with the products provided for you (shampoo, soap and sometimes even razors and shaving cream). Then your free to enter the bathing area.

Every onsen comes in different shapes and sizes. A onsen I went to in Nikko was only two baths, one indoor and one outdoor, both of them quite small. The women's and men's baths were only seperated by a wooden fence with no holes (damn). The onsen I went to in Yotsukura was much larger as I told you earlier, had 7 different baths including 2 saunas. It had 2 large baths at 40 degrees, 1 bath at 41 degrees, another medicated bath at 39 degrees (it was apparently good for your skin, but looked like it was piss water), 4 individual jet baths where you lay down and waterjets hit up your back, thighs and feet and finally one cold bath, great for after the saunas. It was pure class.

Here I quickly drew up a crappy little diagram with the layout of the Yotsukura spa onsen in Microsoft Paint.

Japanese have more than one thing going for them thats for damn sure. One of them being an onsen. If you ever get over there I suggest getting yourself naked and dipping in one of them. It gets the Blob's covenant PICK OF THE WEEK.