A) A Loser.
B) A Loser.
I'll give you a hint, she's a loser. Yes, there is no other way of describing her. She is a certified loser on all fronts. I don't know really what distinguishes her from other pop artists out there that makes me want to punch her right in the face, but...oh wait, I want to punch her right in the face mostly because she's a fake, whacked out, rich 20 some year old making money off of other people's skill. I can't believe I actually put "skill" in the same sentence with Ke&ha, but I did. It needs to be said that it does take some skill to make one catchy single after another, but its not Ke%ha doing that, its the producers. She is just the face and somewhat voice in front of the song. These people make a beat and write the time signatures that make these songs catchy. Its an equation, a science if you will and these pop kids like Ke#ha and Justin Beiber reap the benefits. Nickelback have found the formula as well, and its why all their songs sound exactly the same when you break them down. They wrote one hit that caught ears about 9 years ago and they've writen almost every song since the same way. It's not talent, its cheating because the individuals who buy they're albums I can safely say, do not listen to enough music to know any better. Just like Ke*ha, they're morons. (If you do like Nickelback, safe yourself and go check out some new music and I'll still like you).
Case in point of her talents: Ke~ha performing on SNL prancing around like a lunatic in glow and the dark paint and barely hitting her notes.
So yes, we were talking about Ke!ha. So we've established she really doesn't have anything to do with why her songs are popular. It certainly can't be her lyrics that make the songs sell because I'm pretty positive she writes her own lyrics. You can really get a sense of her genius with lines like these;
“I threw up in the closet / And I don’t care.”
“Your love / Your love / Your love / Your love/ Is my drug / I like your beard”
“And now we lookin’ like pimps / In my gold Trans-Am / Got a water bottle full of whisky / In my hand bag / Got my drunk text on / I’ll regret it in the mornin’ / But tonight / I don’t give a / I don’t give a / I don’t give a”
“I’m pissin’ in the Dom Pérignon / (Come on. Let’s do it.)”
“Boy come on get your rocks off / Come put a little love in my glove box / I wanna dance with no pants on / Holla!”
“Cause the sun is coming up / And oh my God, I think I’m still drunk / Where’s my coat? / Where?”
“And now my heart is broken / Like the bottles on the floor / does it really matter? / Or am I just hung over you?”
"Whoa oh, there's a party at a rich dude's house"
Now that last quote is the actual song title as well...She has a song called "Party At A Rich Dude's House." Ohhh lordy. So yeah, I guess she's different from most pop stars and writes her own material...but is that a good thing? Maybe if I desperately grab at straws I could say something like at least we are hearing from Ke^ha herself and not some 40 year old man who writes her lyrics. But I'm not sure hearing what Ke()ha has to say is such a good thing. I mean, true, she proves my point that she is a loser with lines like “Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat / Just show me where your dick’s at,” but I don't know if being right is worth the knowledge that this line was from her #1 hit 'Blah Blah Blah' and it got played about 30 times a day on the radio. Young girls are listening to this, and I sound like one of those concerned parents when I say, that's horrible thought.
Is it just me or does it seem like Ke?ha is forcing all of this? Her style and attitude just seems to be shoved in your face a little too aggressively for me to believe that she actually is the way she promotes herself to be. She wears what seems to be anything she can swipe from a second hand store's drop box just to create the same buzz as Lady Gaga except she fails miserably. Her "badass" attitude just doesn't seem to be her either. Like I wonder if she takes as much cock as she claims. I'm constantly reminded of a young French artist out of Ed Banger Records, Uffie, who when she emerged on the scene promoted herself in the same light. Difference being Uffie has talent. A party girl who liked to fuck and didn't give a shit. I basically just paraphrased most of Uffie's debut songs right there in that sentence. She looks sweet and innocent, but there just seemed to be more truth behind her lyrics and actions. Even if they were forcing that image, at least it worked. Uffie seems to be in control of her actions. If she wants to snort coke and do a guy in the bathroom its her decision. While Ke/ha claims she gets the boys, but what she leaves out is that the only time she gets the boy is when she gets stuffed while she's passed out drunk unbeknownst to her. Picture the scene of Casper raping a passed out Jennie in the movie Kids. I believed Uffie when she claims "I got my man, my sound, my glass, and im ready to fuck" more than Ke+ha when she belts out “Boy come on get your rocks off / Come put a little love in my glove box / I wanna dance with no pants on / Holla!" I can just picture Uffie being the cool girl at the party while Ke<>ha behing the first girl to get drunk, make out with 6 guys back to bacck, stumble into things and embarass herself and all of her friends when she pukes in the washing machine after blowing the ugly guy. Wait, maybe she is being "real" then.
If you find yourself dancing at a bar to a Ke$ha song, be a little ashamed, but not enough to stop having fun. Her producers have created some catchy songs and its not entirely your fault you want to dance to them when your drunk. Just remember to be sure you go to the washroom afterwards and wash your vagina or penis throughoughly, spell your name without any astrix's or dollar signs and make sure you aren't saying things like "I like Ke$ha because she's real" because if you do then you deserve to be puked on by your best friend standing next to you. Like right in the face with your mouth slightly open so the puke gets in a little. You know, how your bff Ke$ha would do it. She's a loser and you don't want to go down her path.
Ke$!#%^&*()<>~ha in the end will amount to nothing really. She will keep making money as long as her record label backing her, but she will not make a big impact on the music industry. Having her song "Tik Tok" named the longest running number one debut single by a female artist since 1977 doesn't show her talent, it shows how ridiculous the music industry and society has become. The previous holder was Debby Boone for her single 'You Light Up My Life.' Big deal. At least Debby Boone didn't look like John Travolta
Oh how things have changed...
^--- p.s. look for the back-up dancer slip at 1:32mins
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