And His Hairy Monkey Palm Began to Caress My Soft Breast

I Are Hungry, I Are Ate: Japan Diary #7

So here are some highlights of what I ate/drank over there: (Sorry I don't have pictures of every item)

Tuna and Salmon Rolls
Fish Intestine, Kim-chi, Beef, makol (Korean drink)

Vietnamese Bun (similar to Pho)
Ramen bowl with Hida beef - famous in Takayama
Mushroom skillet on top of miso
Dungo - pounded rice called mochi then grilled.
Japanese curry with Hida Tonkasu pork cutlet
Hamburger w. fries & a Coke
Octopus tenticles & tuna sashimi (Kaisen)
Wings
Baby squid
Mehikare (served full including head & tail)
BBQ Tofu
Gyudon (Japanese beef bowl)

Udon noodles, Soba Noodles, Gyoza, tempura seasonal veggies (picture in Nikko post)
Grilled Makogarei (some of the best fish I've ever had)
Nikujaga (Japanese style stew)
Mussels, Mehikare


Final night I had Okinawa Food which is an original cuisine in Japan from the southern most island of Okinawa.

Mimigau (Pigs Ear)
Goya Campulu (Bitter Melon & Spam)
Umi Budo (Sea Grapes - type of seaweed)


Tebichi (Pigs Feet)

Mozuku Tempura (Seaweed Tempura)


& Karage (Deep Fried Pork Cartilage)
Shi Shi Nikomi Yama (Stewed Pork)

While waiting for my plane hunger overtook me and I bought myself a McDonalds 1/4 Pounder with Cheese meal with a coke. Not much difference other than tons of ketchup.

One Country, One Big Impression: Japan Diary #6

So my Japan trip has come to a close. Since it was a little while back I'd be going I'll give you a quick run down of what happened after Nikko.

Returned to Justin's place in Yotsukura to have a few days of relaxation and bike rides to the grocery store. Named my bike Shania since it was yellow, had a sweet basket and overall made me feel like a woman riding it but I didn't mind. Was taken out to dinner by a man named Mr. Niitsuma who was a prominent figure in the community and friends with Justin. In short he was the man, and was extremely welcoming towards me. He brought two bottles of very nice wine and with help from Justin translating taught us about mixing wine and fish. He paid for everything, including the cab ride. Unbelievable and that night will go down in history as not only some of the best food I've ever had, but one of the most enjoyable nights I've had. Went back to Tokyo for a few days to hang out with Dan & Friends. Went out and caught some good pictures/videos of Tokyo including some shopping down in Harajuku, something I didn't really accomplish in the early days of my trip. Fell in love with the best looking girl I've ever seen in my entire life on the train. Our romance lasted 7mins and no words were spoken. Met up with friends for dinner in Shimo-Sitazawa, got smashed and passed out. Hungover and exhausted stumbled my way back the next day to Dan's and napped. Got up, went back out, dinner and drinks again and finished the evening at a bar called Mother in Kabukicho (red light district of Tokyo). It was a pure Rock n' Roll bar and likely the best bar I've ever been to in my life. Hands down. Songs by request, relatively no lighting other than a dim red light illuminating the back of the bar and pen lights to pick your song(s). This place was LOUD, but very chill. Included a man passing out on the floor and a cute Japanese bartender trying to pick him up to take him outside. Gin & Tonic's, Joy Division's Digital and good friends made for an excellent final night out in Japan. Took a packed train back to Kichijoji, Tokyo, went to the store, met up with some of Dan's local skateboarding friends/fans and a Santory whiskey highball (curtesy of one of the guys) and hung out. Flew back home and helped old Japanese people put there things in the overhead compartments and work their entertainment centers.

Overall the trip was unbelieveable. It was what I needed and wished for going over there. It seemed I was over there forever but looking back it was a mere flash. The best element of the entire trip was thanks to my friends I never really felt like a tourist, but more of someone who had just moved there. It was an amazing experience and I don't think I could go back because it wouldn't be as epic. But I'll be back.

So as I was there I noted a number of my impressions in my journal. Here are just a few.

(1) Tokyo Shibuya Station had more people in one place than I'd ever seen in my life. It was a never-ending cycle of faces.

(2) Everyone uses an umbrella. It's rare to see a soaking wet Japanese person.

(3) Extremely friendly, polite and humble people. More pronounced so in the rural areas than the city. Always say "thank you very much," even at convenience stores.

(4) Many ares have no sidewalks so caution of bikes, scooters and cars.

(5) Advertising in Tokyo is absurd. Its everywhere.

(6) Everything is given to you with two hands (eg; Giving a bill back as change is with two hands)

(7) Japanese people can sleep anywhere & anytime. Espeically on the subway/train.

(8) Japanese DO NOT litter. They will carry cigerrette butts around until they find somewhere to dispose of them. It's insane, but sooo great. The city streets are extremely clean and well kept. Ottawa needs to learn from this. The streets of a city estimated over 12 million is about 110% cleaner than the city streets of of 1 million? Its disgusting.

(9) Resturants are more informal but much more effective. Need to flag down your server instead of them coming to you by saying "Sumimasen" which is like "excuse me." No tipping doesn't seem to make any difference to the wait staff. They are still polite and quick.

(10) Drink anytime, anywhere including buses, trains and subways. Walking down the street with a whiskey highball (whiskey soda) was a common practice at times.

(11) No stripclubs, but there are Host clubs and Sex clubs in Kabukicho, which is an experience in itself. Holy hell, what a crazy place.

( 12) Cold green tea is the drink of choice and is found everywhere.

(13) Popular look for young females is to strive to look like a doll. Cute dress, hat etc. Think Anne of Green Gables with a little more fashion sense.

There are more, but you'd have to talk to me in person to get them all. I could go on for hours about it. If you have questions on anything I've talked about, fire off a comment or email and I'll get back to you. And no I did not get a Japanese massage.

Overall I can't even really explain how I felt/feel about Japan and my trip over there. None of the pictures or videos will be able to convey my feelings, emotions or mood of myself and what was around me. I can try to explain and recap my journey, but it won't be as effective as going there yourself. I'll be going back again sometime in my life. Big ups to Justin, Dan, Hanna, Damien, Shuhei, Gota, and all the other people I met there for everything.

Here a picture timeline.

Monkey-less and Wet But Worth It: Japan Diary #5

On Thursday May 13th 2010, Justin and I headed for Nikko, located in the Tochigi prefecture of Japan. Its about 140 km north of Tokyo and is a popular destination for tourists around the world and I can see why. Its home a number of important sites such as Lake Chuzenji, Kegon Falls, the mausoleum to shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu who was the first shogunate of Japan from the area back in and the Futarasan Shrine which dates all the way back to year 767 and likely most famous of them all, the Nikko Tosho-go, a Shinto shrine built in 1617 during the Edo Period where Ieyasu is buried. This place is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I'm sure you have all seen the image of the 3 monkeys, one holding his hands over his ears, one holding his hands over his eyes and the third monkey holding his hands over his mouth (kind of the; hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil type deal)? Well the 3 wise monkeys are found at Tosho-go as well. Its packed full of interesting things!



The 3 Wise Monkeys found at Tosho-go.

So we headed off to Nikko fairly early. It was going to be a long day of riding the trains because to save money, we decided that we would ride the local trains all the way there instead of the over-priced Shinkensen. Doing so would result in about a 6 hour trip. About an hour into the trip a sweet little old lady before getting off the train handed me a bag of sweets called Daifuku saying something in Japanese. I couldn't understand so Justin translated for me telling me that she wanted us to have them. She gave them to us for no other reason than we were taveling (foreign) and she was just so kind. I couldn't believe it. She is a perfect example of how the people of Japan are to strangers and how I felt during my trip.



This is a Daifuku, which is made from mochi (pounded rice cake) stuffed with a sweetened red bean paste. Not your typical North American sweet, but its typical in Japan. Some are covered in powdered sugar, but this one was straight up.

We eventually reached our destination of Nikko. Immediately coming out of the train station I was taken back by its beauty. Surrounded by mountains it seemed like it was a lost city out of some book or movie. The sun was low and beginning to set, yet it was still very warm out.


The view during our walk to the hotel.

We checked into our hotel, which was the Nikko Park Lodge, a very small hotel/hostel with a community feel to it. In the lobby there was a small fireplace, tv, books, guitars and a communal dinning area where the guests were encouraged to spend most of their off time when they weren't out exploring the area. This turned out to be more than I thought in the evening when the entire town shuts down, lights are extinguished and there is not much to do other than share your feelings. Before dinner, Justin and I set out quickly to get some quick snapshots of the area before it got too dark. When we returned we had some dinner, both of us had a vegetarian curry, which was decent. We then went up to the room and killed some time talking. It got dull quick so we decided to hit up a local onsen up the road. It was extremely small, but still enjoyable.

The next morning we got up and headed into town. We were not on the road more than 10mins before it began to rain. We had heard it was going to be a crap day, but we were hoping it wouldn't last all day...it did. The entire day was rain swept and caused for some nasty photography on my end. I was pretty bummed about most of my shots and lost enthusiasm pretty quickly because of it. Its such a beautiful area I don't think the weather did it justice. But I endured and got some decent photos too. We went to Lake Chuzjenji, and Kegon Falls. Coming back on the bus we got off early and went to a fairly well known site, The Sacred Bridge found at the bottom of Futarasan Shrine. Thanks to Justin and his tripod we ended up getting some good shots from that point. We then travelled over to visit all the shrines and tour around them for the better part of the afternoon. They were an incredible site to see. It is hard to imagine how many hours and man-power it took to build them and in such detail with no nails used. Pictures can only do so much, but I don't think any picture can do the sites justice.


The Five-Storey Pogoda


Walking amongst the shrines

The Sacred Bridge

It was beginning to get dark and some of the shrines were preparing to close so we began our walk down into town. I for one, was starving and needed to eat something. So we found the first place that looked appealing to us, well Justin because I put my trust into him to find good food since I couldn't read many signs outside shops telling me there was food inside. One thing I should note before I continue. Japan, espeically rural Japan it is sometimes extremely difficult to tell stores from houses, and stores from resturants. Unlike North America, many establishments don't have advertisements, or bright signs hanging outside their place. Tokyo is different, most places do there, but even then if you can't read kanji, you can't really tell what the place is. I noticed this first when looking for a hotel in Ueno and Justin asked me to keep my eyes peeled for one, but I couldn't tell a hotel from a post office. However, I will say, most resturants will have some sort of telling sign they in fact are a resturant like having a menu outside their door with pictures of food on it, or red hanging shoji lights outside.

Anyway, yes, the dinner. It hit the spot. We had udon and soba noodles, chicken skewers, local styled goza (potstickers, famous in the area) and tempura seasonal vegetables. Delicious. To drink Justin suggested I try this Japanese liquer called Umeshu. Its made from steeping these ume fruits while they are unripe and green and placing it in alcohol and sugar. It had a very sweet sour taste like some sort of candy. I would categorize it as a Japanese cooler or something, but it was so much better than the North American cooler. I left satisfied and not like I had just ate 5lbs of Sour Patch Kids. The most interesting part of the place was the decor. The entire resturant was covered in messages written on peices of paper, individuals ID cards, Japan Rail passes etc. Most messages thanked the owners for the food and hospitality normally leaving their name and where they were from. These things were on every wall and even on the roof. It was pretty rad.


Umeshu

The Feast

The decor

On the way home, we bought a bottle of Ginger wine and took it back to the hotel. Knowing we had a few more hourse before we could go to bed, we needed something to dull the boredom of being stuck inside a hotel with very little to do. So we drank the bottle and eventually called it a night. The next morning after breakfast we got back on the trains and headed back to Justin's place. I found the trip very short and the rain left me feeling a little jipped out as well. Overall though it was a great time and worth a trip back. I didn't get to see any of the monkeys that inhabit the forests though. Again I will blame the rain for this. God damn whore Mother Nature. Suck what's between my legs!

Japanese Have More Than One Thing Going For Them: Japan Diary #4

Onsen is a term used to describe hot springs in the Japanese language, though the term is also used to describe the bathing facilities most of the Japanese enjoy for relaxing and I've come to love. From what I can understand through very little research and merely on word of mouth and experience is that they come in two variations; outdoor and indoor. Outdoor can either be a man-made hot bath or a natural hot spring which is caused by the volcanic activity underneath creating a steamy, soothing bath-like water above ground. Whether its natural or not, got to say that these things are rad.

After the festival (which I discussed in detail in my last post) we went to bed with aching, bruised bodies. Cure? Taking a leisurely dip in the local onsen spa the next day. The place was a hotel/spa about 10mins away from where Justin lives. It contained two sauna's, 7 different baths, including one outdoor salt water looking out onto the ocean and two sauna rooms (one dry, one hot). Best part about it all? You got to see a bunch of naked Japanese dudes walking around waving around their dicks...wait, that wasn't the best part. Uh oh, I screwed that up. I'm straight I swear. I love boobs and vagina and a tight FEMALE ass in a good pair of jeans. Love vagina. Anyway, now that I've convinced you over the internet that I, the Blob, am a completely hetrosexual male I can say yes, there were naked men struting around with only a small wash cloth to cover up if, and only if they wanted. Some just loved that breeze and let it all bare out. But why not let it all hang out!

For instance, girls you would see this at an onsen:

and guys wish they would see that, but instead would see a lot of this

ANNNND THIS

Onsen's have some pretty strict policies that everyone, espeically foreigners need to abide by that include nudity. Some basic rules/general ettiquette to follow:

(1) You can NOT wear a bathing suit or any sort of garmet to cover up. You are given a wash cloth and that's it. You get a full towel, but you only use it once your out of the bath house to dry off. There are some modern parks that allow you to wear a bathing suit or something, but jesus, come on! let your dick (or vag hang out) because who the hell wants to go to some fake onsen wear your not naked, it ruins the point of them. Rock out with your cock out or jam out with your clam out!

(2) The wash cloth can not be placed in the water. It has to be set on top of your head or alongside the baths. It is considered rude and unhygenic to have your own personal towel in the public waters.

(3) Ensuring cleanliness is extremely important. Every person using the onsen is expected to wash themselves thoroughly before you enter the baths. Washing involves soap, shampoo and lots of rinsing off to make sure no soap gets into the baths. Some (including myself) spent like 10mins washing/rinsing. You are also expected to sit down for this, not stand. Since this is the case, the onsens normally provide removable shower heads to help the process. If you enter a bath dirty or with noticable soap on you is a major faux pas. This also goes for entering a salt water bath and not rinsing afterwards. You will probably get your ass kicked by some 70 year old Japanese dude. He'll be naked and wanting to spank you.

(4) Creating noise is not seen to be a polite thing to do so there isn't much yelling or loud talking going on. Plus you're there to relax not play or talk. No playfighting with water or blowing bubbles. The Babe may have a problem with this, she loves splishing and splashing in the water pretending she's some sort of mermaid. Its weird, espeically when she tells you to come into the bathroom and watch her change from mermaind to girl like Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

(5) Finally, tattoos are a pretty big no-no. Normally seen as a sign of organized crime (since most Yakuza have large tattoos displayed on their backs and torsos) its not a scene most onsen operators want to be a part of. However, rules are often broken since its not really in the interest employees to kick out someone involved in the Yakuza. I for one, would not want to kick out the older guy we saw with his back covered and his large gut displaying a massive dragon over his personal life. Yak's gotta soak too man.

So basically, once you get there, you are given a locker or a small basket to place your belongings in. Even if you get a basket, you don't have to worry about your things being stolen because theft is virtually unheard of in Japan. You could leave $200 hanging out of your pants pocket and no one would touch it. Its unreal. Anyway, yeah you get yourself naked leave your possessions and towel behind and walk into the wash area. Wash up with the products provided for you (shampoo, soap and sometimes even razors and shaving cream). Then your free to enter the bathing area.

Every onsen comes in different shapes and sizes. A onsen I went to in Nikko was only two baths, one indoor and one outdoor, both of them quite small. The women's and men's baths were only seperated by a wooden fence with no holes (damn). The onsen I went to in Yotsukura was much larger as I told you earlier, had 7 different baths including 2 saunas. It had 2 large baths at 40 degrees, 1 bath at 41 degrees, another medicated bath at 39 degrees (it was apparently good for your skin, but looked like it was piss water), 4 individual jet baths where you lay down and waterjets hit up your back, thighs and feet and finally one cold bath, great for after the saunas. It was pure class.

Here I quickly drew up a crappy little diagram with the layout of the Yotsukura spa onsen in Microsoft Paint.

Japanese have more than one thing going for them thats for damn sure. One of them being an onsen. If you ever get over there I suggest getting yourself naked and dipping in one of them. It gets the Blob's covenant PICK OF THE WEEK.

Nothing Says Japan Like Octopus Tentacles, Bruised Shoulders and Bonfires!: Japan Diary #3

So some of you have asked for me to post more. I should note that I'm not around a computer very often, but when I am, I'm on borrowed time and don't have long to do even respond to an e-mail let alone type a post, but I will do my best. I'll at least get two posts done today for you so you can all lay off me for a few days!

I also was asked to have less words because it hurt someone's brain or something. So I will give two versions of my next post.

Version #1:

Stayed in Tokyo Sunday night. It was fun. I had wings and octopus.

Went to Yotsukura with some dudes and carried a big shrine around. It was fun.

I hadn't taken a dump in like 5 days. It was not fun.


If Version #1 wasn't enough for you. I present:

Version #2

So, we didn't end up staying at a whore house that Sunday night. I lied. We found a place in Ueno which is a popular district next to Tokyo centre and next to Asakusa. I should explain in like a sentence Tokyo and how its divided. Tokyo as a whole is the capital and major city in Japan as you all know, next to it are places like Kyoto, Hiroshima and Kobe but are not nearly as big. Tokyo is comprised of a few major districts, on the north east you have Ueno, and Asakusa in the center you have Central Tokyo. South you have Minato-Ku and Shimbashi and in the west, Shinjuku and Shibuya. There are a bunch of others, but those are the major spots. So we got lucky to find a place in Ueno on the Sunday night and went out to dinner with Justin friends Damien and his lady friend to get some Japanese style wings. Before you say anything about the Japanese making wings, I have to say they were delicious and probably some of the best I've had in a while. Had some drinks and some other food to munch on including some strange dishes Justin and Damien forced on me "because I'm in Japan" type stuff like Octopus, more fish intestines, baby squid etc. All were decent and worth the try since yes, "I'm in Japan."

The next day, Justin, myself, Damien and a local Shuhei (a local dude who is rad and works for a local blues record label in Tokyo) all headed to Justin's residence in Yotsukura where I'd be living in and out of for about a week. When we got in, we went and bought some food at the local fish market and grocery store, came back cooked it and then went down to the beach and had ourself a little bonfire. The next day on the Tuesday was the big day. It was the day of the famous local festival that has been going on for generations called Yotsukura Omikoshi Festival. Basically its a town wide event where everyone comes out to watch 5 different groups of people carry these large shrines on their shoulders around the town, bringing them down to the ocean where they get down into the underwear and go into the water to honour ancient ocean Gods. Eventually, the shrines are brought back into town, have a final showdown in a major town square and brought back up to the temple. Its an entire day event lasting from about 9AM till 6pm just before sunset. During all of these there are incremented breaks for all the participants to drink either juice, sake or beer. Most pick the booze.

The best part about all this? I got to be one of the participants to carry one of the shrines. Myself, the boys, some other foreigners (teachers) and locals represented Yotsukura. We were able to wear the traditional gear including shorts, a gui, headband with the town emblem on it and some ninja shoes (we got to keep the shoes and the headband). I will say that the shrine was f**king heavy! That thing had to weigh a couple hundred pounds and was not built for 5'7" Japanese guys and 6'5" white dudes to carry on their shoulders it at the same time. These Japanese dudes (and women) were insane! They were able to carry most of the weight while the rest of us whities tried to keep up. Meanwhile, I'm trying to bend my knees and back enough able get under this thing well enough that I don't trip and get trampled to death and enough that I don't look like some pussy in front of these hardcore Japanese dudes/dudettes. Some of these guys do it so much around the country they have massive goiters on their shoulders like Quasimodo...seriously.

Anyway, all this while you're carrying this large priceless object on your shoulders you are chanting, yelling and doing some sort of traditional two step when necessary. Sometimes you bring the shrine down to the ground and move it up and down as if it was riding waves. Screw yoga or kick-boxing for a work out ladies and gents, come to Japan and partake in a shrine festival. This will make you feel as if you've just work out for 72hours. You are expected to switch off with others to recover, but then jump back in when someone else needs a rest. You are told to bring towels to put on your shoulders, but even those don't work because the later that day your shoulders are raw, bruised and just plain hurt like pulling a nose hair out. Sounds awful, but its an amazing experience! Everyone in the community is out, cheering and their roles is to throw change at each shrine as they pass by as offering. Sort of like a chanting, moving, sweaty and beaten charity. At the stops its free booze and juices, but you can barely get one can of beer or spirit down into you before you hear a whistle from your team and you're right back under that beast bringing it up some hill and back down again. I was warned it would be hard work but fun, though like Tokyo, I was ill-prepared at how much hard work it would take and how much fun it would be. My shoulders hurt so bad going to bed that night I had to sleep on my back instead of my usual side! Loved it! It was the definitely a highlight of the trip, and I have only lived for 25 years, but it will go down as a highlight of my life.

Wife: Can you believe it Blob? We had our first child and its a beautiful girl? We...have...a...child! Can you think of anything else this exciting?

Blob: Hmmm, I guess, but there was this time when I was 25 years old I went to Japan and participated in this shrine festival in a little fishing village in a place Yotsukura, I've told you this story right?! I must have

Wife: God Blob, like a hundred....

Blob: It's a good story, so we woke up around 8 AM and went down to where we get dressed for the festival and...

I'm thinking its going to play out like that. When it comes time to actually have that conversation in order to have sex again I may agree with my wife, but in my head I'll be thinking of the chants and tradition I had an opportunity to be a part of.

Bedbugs Ate My Neighbour: Japan Diary #2

Hey hey, Blob here all the way from Yotsukura, Japan just outside Iwaki which is located North East of Tokyo. Its a very small fishing village on the Pacific. The ocean is a mere 6mins walk from my friend Justin's where I'm staying on and off for the next week. I arrived here on Monday with "chilling" on the mind. Promised a relaxing time filled with bonfires, good cooking, drinking and bike rides I have not been disappointed. Before I get into that, lets just recap what I've been doing up until my arrival here on Monday.

This next entry I wrote on the train ride back from Takayama and haven't had the time nor the internet to post it. I know all of you have been agonizing over when the next Blob post from Japan would be. Well here it is!

Well, I spent a bit more time in Tokyo and my impression didn't really change from the first day. It was still overwhelming, different and just overall a crazy place to be. I wasn't nervous or scared but I did find myself on edge the majority of the time while I was there. It was a great time, don't get me wrong, but it was hard to let myself enjoy it to its full extent. By Thursday it was one of those love hate relationships, where I love what the city has to offer, the sites and sounds, smells and tastes, but on the other end I hated the fact that some of the sites were ruined due to the sheer congestion of having a few million people in one spot. I hated that a good smell of a kitchen cooking nearby was overtaken with the smell of the Tokyo sewer and your appetite was instantly ruined for a good 20 seconds or longer depending how many people took a shit that day. There wasn't much to hate per say, that's a strong word, but it did cause some appreciation of Tokyo to get a little lost. Looking back on it however with a few days to come to grip with it I conclude that that's Tokyo, and its those small dislikes that make the city what it is. So 3 cheers for random smells of sewage!

So I stayed there splitting my time between my friend Dan's place and a hotel until trip to Takayama on the 30th of April. Takayama is a remote town North of Tokyo in the prefecture of Gifu. Known for its historical Japanese streets, sake breweries and excellent walking trails, it was going to be a welcome change to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo. The trip started off poorly however. I was spending the time there with my friend Justin. We only needed to spend one more night in Tokyo before we were to leave for Takayama, and we wanted to sleep cheap so we found a dive hotel over in Asakusa which is the East-end of Tokyo. It was a sleazy little joint that was only like $30 some CDN. It was only going to be for a night and we were to meet up with our friend Damien that night for some dinner and drinks so we would only be spending like 6-7 hours in the place maximum in that hole? so whatever, we'll take it. We get to the room and we noticed two warning sides right off the bat; although we asked for 2 futons we only got one and it stank of fish food. We went down and talked to the hotel manager at the desk to try and get two futons instead of the one but the hotel owner couldn't help so we decided to split the futon into two. Most futons have a top piece and a bottom piece so it wasn't going to be THAT big of a deal...We thought... (Blobs Fun Japan Facts: Futons in Japan are different than the North American futon which is usually a couch that pulls out into a bed. Japanese futons are just small thin mattresses that you place directly on floor. Its rare to find a bed in Japan, most families and homes have futons in order to save space and money). So once we switch out the futon to make two separate beds, we went to bed for a few hours before our morning Shinkansen (Bullet Train) to Takayama.

Unfortunately for Justin, before going into the shower the following morning he noticed small itchy red marks on his arms and upper torso. Over the course of the day he turned up more. Turns out he got bit by some sort of bedbugs found in the bottom piece of the futon. It apparently is a pretty common occurrence when one doesn't take care of their futons or the wicker flooring. Lucky for me, I was untouched and was glad I took the more uncomfortable mattress of the two. Problem: We had planned to stay there another night after Takayama when we got back into Tokyo, but we decided that it would be best that we cancel and find somewhere else for the Sunday night after Justin continued to scratch himself like a heroine junkie waiting for his next fix . If you ever plan to stay in Asakusa, Tokyo, don't stay in a shithole called...uhh...I forget but if the room smells like fish food you'll know to get out immediately.

So off to Takayama for a few days! I was anxious to get out of the city and into somewhere new. I have never seen such beauty as I did during the train ride there. Rolling hills, rice patties and farms covered the country side outside of Tokyo. Looking out the train window you could see Mt. Fuji in the distance which was an impressive site. Our seats on the Shinkansen were on the opposite side so I couldn't get a picture/video of it, but I saw it nonetheless. The countryside turned into rolling hills and then into large cliffs covered in trees and greenery. Before long we were riding through a canyon covered in forest encompassing small villages and rivers. I couldn't take my eyes off the window and the landscape passing by, it was just so impressive and awe-inspiring. Coming from the concrete jungle of Tokyo to this sight seemed overdue and needed.

After about 3.5-4 hours on train we reached the town of Takayama itself. It was a small slice of Japanese heaven. Its a popular little tourist spot among Japanese and foreigners alike, but its remote enough to keep large crowds away. It seemed that anytime we spoke of it before and after our trip a number of Japanese didn't even know where it was. A secret in the North maybe? Probably not, but its nice to know I went to somewhere fairly new on the tourist radar here in Japan. The locals in "The Tak" were very laid back and seem to welcome tourists to the area with warmth and hospitality. That or they hate us, but know how to put a smile on their face and fake a conversation. That could be a possibility too. But if it is a facade, it works and I'll take it. I'm going against the ladder in this though and think it was quite genuine

It was in Takayama I finally got the feel of "real Japan" as my friend Justin put it. I was able to obtain some sort of grounding and adjust my sleep patterns thanks to real beds. The town itself has 7 Sake breweries and is renowned for its quality. For those who don't know what Sake is, its a rice wine and rather delicious. I prefer it ice-cold but you can also have it hot, which most people associate it with. Justin and I toured around the area, sampled sake, ate some traditional dishes including local Japanese mushrooms served over miso on a hot skillet brought right to our table. Justin and I managed to eat them and proceed to get completely wasted on sake and stumbled our way back to the hotel room, but not before Justin had to talk up some locals, get some late night chicken and fall into a bunch of plants arranged around the entrance of our hotel.

Over the two days I was able to take a number of excellent pictures including a few of the sun setting beyond the mountains and the town below, bought some gifts for people and do a little exploring around some temples. We spent 2 days there and because the town was so small and relatively quick to explore, it was plenty of time to see everything. Made some friends with some locals and we really enjoyed it. Great experience!

We headed back to Tokyo on the Sunday day. We needed a new place to stay that night and because it was Golden Week here in Japan it was going to prove to be somewhat difficult. But we managed to find this whore house just outside of Shinjuku and...

Well, I won't get into that now, maybe my next entry. Keep checking back for Diary Entry #3: Nothing Says Japan Like Octopus Tentacles, Bruised Shoulders and Bonfires!

Dear Diary, My Ass Is Being Heated and Sprayed With Water: Japan Diary #1

So here I am. In Japan. Holy crap.

I'm staying at my friends place in a small district outside of central Tokyo called Musashino-shi. Its small enough that as long as you follow the main streets and crowds you can not get lost, but big enough to make you feel insignificant. Nothing however, can compare to what I witnessed last night arriving from Narita Airport. I arrived on time at approximately 4:45pm Tokyo time, which would be 3:45am Canadian time. I had not slept yet and was weak. The flight was long, but not too bad. Air Canada provided everyone with personal entertainment centres in the headrests of the seat in front of you. Large selection of movies and television shows including episodes of Dexter, 30 Rock and movies like 500 Days of Summer, A Single Man, Young Victoria, Crazy Heat and Avatar to just name a few. I was overly impressed and spent the entire flight writing and watching movie after movie. I tried to sleep, but it was no use. So when I arrived in Narita and boarded the Narita express it was hardly the time to nod off before arriving in Tokyo. I realize that my last post I said my first stop was a district of Tokyo called Shinjuku. Yet, a last minute change with my friend we opted to meet up in a place called Shibuya. Some of you would know this area of Tokyo from the movie Lost in Translation when Scarlett Johannsson's character crosses that crazy intersection with that big dinosaur on the oversized billboard screen. Well that intersection was one of my first Japanese experiences. Can someone say sensory overload? It was by far the most overwhelming experience I have ever had in my life. Nothing, but maybe visiting Time Square could have prepare me for it. Not only are there about 200,000 people walking, talking on their cellphones, carrying umbrellas and bags, there are also, buses, cars, cabs and advertisements EVERYWHERE. Things are beeping, moving, playing music and glowing. Its a non-stop light show complete with Japanese sounds. In fact there is some advertisement here in Japan now with Darth Vader as the face of the product. Can any of you say you've looked up to a massive billboard screen and seen Darth Vader staring down at you pointing with his menacing finger saying something with his legendary voice completely in Japanese? I don't know what Japanese James Earl Jones was saying, but it was affective.

The Shibuya train stop was complete anarchy. More people than I have ever seen in one place. They would come in waves and would not stop. Ducking and weaving through them with both of my backpacks proved to be difficult. It didn't help I also was going on no sleep for almost 24hours. Apparently, our first meet up point in Shinjuku is even worse! Its the most heavily populated and used train station in the world. Once I reached outside of the station through the Hichiko exit the people doubled, but in a larger space so it just seemed really busy. It was interesting sitting there and people watching while I waited for my friend Dan to meet up with me. Thousands of people must have passed me over those couple hours and I can't remember any of their faces. Who could? And no, they do not all look the same. They're mostly Japanese, but there are so many fashions, hair styles and demeanors that it was hard to focus on just one person at a time. Shibuya crossing is a strange and wonderful place. (Going back to re-live the amazing nightmare tomorrow)

Eventually Dan came to my rescue. I had not seen him since probably some 4-5 years ago, but being the great character he is, it didn't feel that way. We took the train over to his place, unloaded my things and I met his lovely girlfriend Hanna. She had put a bed down for me and everything, which was most welcoming and kind. We were there a span of 10 minutes before Dan took me to a place to eat and have a few drinks. It was a relatively cheap, hip little place. Very clean and Japanese-ish. It was quite busy with a lot of young people. Dan did all the ordering in Japanese and it was fascinating. He ordered a beer for himself and a rice sake for me. The waiter came over and gave me a large shot glass sitting in a small square dish. Both were chilled. He then brought over a large bottle of chilled sake and poured enough that it ran down into the other dish. Very elegant and delicious. Cold sake is da bomb yo! Dinner arrived and it was super good. Got some iced cabbage leafs, pickled eggplant with ginger, fried chicken, diced tuna wrapped in seaweed and traditional salmon on top of rice. We also had a "ceaso salado," a Japanese take on a cesar salad. It was very good and what made it a little different was a cracked half boiled egg on top. What a weird an wacky place. It was a great evening and by the time I was done I was half in the bag and getting the shakes from the lack of sleep. We arrived back to his place and Dan went into the bathroom. He came out handing me a towel and suggested I take a soak in a traditional Japanese household tub. Its small in length, but much higher so you sit up to your neck in water instead of the waist. Despite my size, I fit. He went off to bed and I sat in this tub just relaxing. Mind you this was about 3AM but well worth it. Got out and went to bed.

Woke up this morning. Dan and I had some breakfast and then he took off. I just got back in from touring around the area a little. Could not get out too far thanks to a constant drizzle of rain coming down and jet lag. Did manage to head through town a bit and down into a beautiful park in the lower section of the city. It had amazing wooden paths and bridges. In the middle of it was a private zoo for paying guests and a temple. I really enjoyed walking through there.

I'm feeling the effects of the long day yesterday today and am now sitting in Dan's apartment trying to do some catch up on my rest. Our friend Justin comes into town tonight. He and I will be partaking in a week long excursion into traditional Japan rich in ancient culture and landscapes next week and then going back to his place in the Northeast part of Japan, Iwaki for a few days to hangout. With his arrival tonight, it may mean more sake and even less sleep. So I'm going to nap while I have the chance.Not sure when I will be able to speak to you all again with an update so I made this one a pretty healthy one. Please forgive me on any spelling or grammatical errors you came across. I am writing on my friend Dan's Japanese mac book. No pictures or video postings today, but I am taking them! More updates to come! This is quite the place...


P.S. some truck keeps driving by and blaring something in Japanese over their PA speakers. Think it may be for an election or something. Or they are selling eye glasses. Its weird. People stand at their storefronts yelling, promoting whatever their sales are or something. Even at optical stores.

Sayonara Canada, Hello Japan!

Well, its that time. I'm off to Japan. Packing proved to be more difficult than originally planned. I had to pack enough clothes and amenities to provide for a comfortable trip (keeping in mind buying clothes/shoes in my sizes could prove to be difficult), but not overpack to ensure a displacing a disc or two while carrying my bag. Anyway, things have worked out and I'm ready to go. I hope to keep you all informed the best I can and as often as possible, so keep your eyes peeled for a Japan updates. When I return I'll have a full range of pictures, comments and accounts of my trip.

First stop on my journey, Shinjuku, Tokyo.

Hangovers, Hamburger Helper, Japan and Me

First off, I want to say thanks to everyone who came out this weekend to send me on my way with alcohol. I had a great weekend (except for when I puked in my mouth and had to hold it there until the bathroom stall was free, could have done without that). Had lots of fun and because of it I've been hungover for about 2 days back to back. I spent yesterday's hangover watching a Deadliest Catch marathon on Discovery until it was time to get drunk again. All I want to eat is Thai food or Hamburger Helper. Not sure why I want Hamburger Helper so badly, but I've had a craving for it for about 12 hours now. Anyway, long story short, thanks again for the fun, the Blob likey.
I'm exactly a week away from heading to Japan. This time next week I'll be in the air over the Pacific nearing Japan on a 14 hour non-stop flight to Narita Airport. A week tomorrow I'll be suffering from a severe case of jetlag, culture shock and walking around downtown Tokyo aimlessly in awe. Very exciting.

Unrelated, my Pick of the Week is this music video from HEALTH. Now I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the video itself, or the idea that I think its amazing. Brilliant song too.
**WARNING: Not for the squeamish**

HEALTH "We are Water" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

p.s. is it even weirder that I want to date this girl solely on her haircut? Love it! (after she takes off the wig)

A Moment With A Serious Blob

Ladies and Gentlemen. The Blob and his Babe are back. (Pause for A Moment With A "Serious" Blob) Following a week of posting delay due to the extremely nice weather and other social commitments, I, the Blob have returned to fill that 15minutes of procrastination you all were craving to have. The weather this past week was unreal and rather unprecedented, so I had to cash in. Sitting on patios with friends, enjoying warm walks in jeans, v-necks and an ipod blasting the latest hip jams into my ear drums it was a great last week of March and first week of April. And my excuse for not posting last night for The Blabbing To The Blob Session #2? Well, I was out getting intoxicated for 14hrs so forgive me. For those who know me, you already know that the past week and the weeks ahead will be a life-altering experience. Filled with mystery, surprise, fun, antics and indulgence, they will most definitely leave an ever-lasting impression in my life. I'm sure there will be some dissapointment in there as well, but I intend leave very little room for that. Without going into detail and bore you all, let it be known that I'm about to enter a new chapter in life.

So what does this mean for you readers? Well you can all live it with me via the internet. That's right! you can live vicariously through me! Take this for an example. You always wanted to go to Japan but you have no legs. Well now you can achieve your dream of visiting from the comfort of your chair! I will be partaking in a month long oversea adventure in beautiful Japan. This blog will be home to my online diary of my trip which will include a written acount of my experience, plus the pictures and videos that go along with it. I will be armed with a pen, my Canon SLR, high-def camcorder and a backpack. Sadly, after weeks of trying various dexterity and flexibilty tests, The Babe can't fit into my backpack so she will have to stay behind, but she has been kind enough to lend me her backpack so thanks Babe! Big ups! She will have to maintain the local adventures as I span the globe for my own. Anyhow, this is not for another 3 weeks, but stay tuned! In the meantime there are other adventures to be had such as a trip to visit some of the Blob's dearest friends in Toronto this coming weekend. (You may know one of my friends as a followerer of the blog; AGM. Great guy. huge penis. I accidently saw it once.) So I'm sure a story or two will come from that weekend. In short, the weeks/months ahead are going to be, well, more than interesting and fun! So try and keep up because I'm going to be hot as fire...not a contained fire, we're talking a forest, burn you cottage down to the ground and everyone residing in it, fire! (End of Moment With A "Serious" Blob.)

So since I missed our weekly session last week. I will provide one lucky soul an answer. Only one this week due to time restraints. Sorry I have to make mix cd's for my roadtrip later this week. So here we go. Blabbing to the Blob Session #2 BEGIN!

Hippolovin' from Ottawa, ON asks;

I want to know if hippopotomus's can be pets?

Sure why not! according to this, you can.




Hopefully this video helps you hippolovin' and goodluck with hippo-proofing your apartment/house.